“Time and again, I have sat here and watched people come and go. They have also seen me but never noticed. I have lost the count of the number of days I have confined my world into this single room. It might have been days or weeks or months or even years. That was exaggeration because I know exactly how long it has been. And through this single window that overlooked the one room kitchen house and terrace of the neighboring building, I stalked people without them noticing me. A few had waved at me or smiled, but it was a pain to respond back. I was tired of these charades and preferred to keep people away from my world. Even my parents. After all that has happened in the past, this was safe. A single room with everything I love and just me and the haunting memories that kept me awake even when I sleep. Everything was going good. Everything felt perfect, until the day she moved in…
Chapter 1
Ayaan’s World
Ayaan had woken up earlier than usual that day. It had rained heavily the previous night and the room had grown cold, thanks to the ventilation, Dada had put few years back. Ayaan hated it. The grilled circular opening right above his window. He had promised Dada to keep the window open throughout the day but you know how promises are. Initially, it was all fine. His window opened towards the terrace of another building. The terrace was open and empty, just the way Ayaan loved. He spent his Saturday and Sunday mornings, sitting on the chair he had kept at the corner near the window, enjoying his coffee and soothing silence that only the weekends offered him. Bangalore was noisy throughout the week, but slept in late till noon during the weekends, until the party noises took over for the rest of the day. Ayaan never minded the noise much, but he hated being amidst that. He had always known from the beginning of his time that he was misfit in the crowded chaos that other people called normal. He remembered the tiresome efforts of his Mom and Dada from his childhood, pushing him to mingle and fit himself in the chaos. They had given up later, one day, when Ayaan stormed back from college, that evening. He remembered the entire event of that day in the exact sequence as that had unraveled, the day that proved to Ayaan that he was better off alone, in his own world, where he had the ultimate control , where nothing can hurt him. Mom and Dada had come to terms with that eventually, but what else could they do. 10 years is not a short time and it had been the same for them since then. The Ayaan whom they expected and wished to be ceased to exist gradually, even after their endless efforts and persuasions. Gradually, they had resigned to the bitter fact that he was what he was.
Ayaan loved that phrase now which was earlier used by his inhumane fellow classmates to bully him, “Crazy Introvert”. He was the crazy introvert who had created his magical world inside his room, the world no one else had access to, a beautiful world that accepted him. And every weekend, he sat and watched the crazy chaotic other world, the endless blares of horns, chattering of people, the occasional vegetable vendors, the big fat uncle and his son who played catch and throw during the evenings on the terrace.
Ayaan was at peace, a truth his parents never agreed to. Ayaan loved his life, his weekdays when he worked on his art, the paintings, portraits ad charcoal drawings he did for people who knew him in the virtual world. He was the crazy introvert artist for them, who catered them happiness on canvas, just the way they loved it. He remembered the day when he stepped into the virtual world of social networking. People seemed tolerable there, less confrontations if you don’t meddle too much and a fun time pass. Dada was also happy when Ayaan told him about the business he was starting, his online venture for showcasing and selling his art. It was 4 years after that day and for Dada and Mom, they believed Ayaan was coming back into the chaos. But little did they knew that they were wrong. For Ayaan, the virtual world itself was a big step, enough to meet his basic needs and not burden his parents a lot. He was happy in his room, the small world where he created art and lazed around, read books, wrote down quotes, watched people but never let them talk to him. Apart from the occasional night mares that never let him forget the past, he continued to survive. Initial days after the incident was tough. Ayaan had locked himself out of the world, including his parents. They were to blame, he believed back then. They knew him and yet, they pushed him into the wilderness where he was hunted by all those wily predators, until they tormented and tortured him to the extend he couldn’t tolerate. He had felt in ease gradually as the days passed, in his safe haven where he felt protected from all those harmful creatures.
That day felt the same. The cold had woken him up in between his sleep but he felt thankful. He was having one of his nightmares again but wondered why. He hadnt had one in the past few months. “What’s going to happen today?”, he muttered to himself as he turned and tried to sleep. After another few hours of twists and turns, he felt relieved when his alarm finally rang. “Happy Saturday, Ayaan”, he mumbled as he woke up and went towards his window. He pulled the curtains to the side and pushed open the window, with his eyes closed, enjoying the first cold rainy breeze of the morning. He inhaled the air deep into his lungs and smiled. He could feel the scent of the rain kissed soil, the waft of the agarbatti , the guy down floor had lit. He listened keenly and could hear the chirp of birds, the guy singing hanuman chalisa with his shrilled up voice.
“Perfect”, he whispered and opened eyes. That was when Ayaan saw a bunch of people moving heavy packed stuff in the terrace.At the corner of the terrace was a one room kitchen , his neighbour had built 2 years back. Since then, Ayaan had felt his privacy being intruded by the random strangers who moved in and out over the time. The last tenant had moved out 6 months back , much to Ayaan’s pleasure because he was the nosy waving guy. He was out on terrace the whole time whenever he was there and every time, he caught a glimpse of Ayaan, had tried to wave him and start a conversation from which Ayaan would somehow sneak away. He had kept the window closed during most of the time the guy was there. Ayaan had almost partied in excitement the day nosy guy moved out.
Ayaan tried to figure out who the new tenant was. Two people moving in stuff and there was a third person behind them. “I hope this person keeps to themselves”, Ayaan mumbled to himself. He hated the idea of someone ruining the one thing he enjoyed, keeping the window open to an emptiness. He never wanted someone up there in that room, who may try to interact with him and ruin his world. “Here, Anna”, Ayaan heard the husky, orotund voice of a woman. He looked closer and saw her for the first time. Ayaan stared in disbelief as he tried to figure out if it was the same person. He pressed his face on the windows and tried to get a more closer look. He was frozen at his position for a long time, looking at her that he didn’t notice the other two guys go away. She walked into the room and turned to close the door and she saw him. For a moment, she got frightened but as their eyes met, a strange sense of familiarity struck her.
“Hey” she called out and walked towards the opposite end, closer to his window. Ayaan suddenly jumped out of his shocked state but continued to look at her. She leaned onto the concrete railing and smiled at him,
“Do I know you? You look very familiar. Hey, I am Krisha and you are…”
Ayaan knew that she was talking to him but also realized that she doesn’t remember him. For a moment, he felt relieved. It is been 10 years and she had seen me only once. Not a faint chance for her to remember me. He never intended to meet her ever again, but maybe fate was not kind enough to him.
“Hey, Are you there?”, she was smiling as she was waving her hand as if to wake him up.
“Ayaan. Welcome”, Ayaan grunted as he pulled back his curtain. He had a feeling that things were going in for a change. But what he didn’t know was how she would play the bigger role in that transformation that Ayaan never believed or wished would happen.
to be continued……
Scribbles of a caffeinated psyche 